Armchair bike racing...

I'm pretty damn frustrated right now with my hands and am forcing myself to take about a week off from the trainer, rollers and the road. If I go by the no pain - no pain healing then that's what's called for. Meanwhile, I've managed to gain not a single pound through this injury but that's really just a testament to some neurotic-level monitoring of my diet. I actually lost about 5 pounds after the accident, then put the 5 pounds back on and am now back to losing the 5 pounds. Christmas, get thee and thine evil food behind me!

So I found myself this morning perusing videos from cyclocross nationals which, by the way, look cold and brutal and remind me of some of the worst days in Maryland slugging through the sometimes-snowie cross races out in Bowie... good times. Anyway, I noticed one major thing. Damn near everybody is riding on the hoods! WTF? Has cyclocross become so serious-roadie infested that guys don't know to ride with higher bars so you can ride in the hooks and get your CG lower? Interesting. I know sometimes you get in an awkward transition from climb to descent and get stuck in the hoods but I don't think riding around on the hoods on an icy course is doing yourself any favors.

I probably should STFU though, since I'm no nationals-caliber racer. What the hell do I know? I'm just a guy who rode his bike off the road and broke his wrists! So I certainly shouldn't be second guessing via my chair.

And here I am trying to banish negative thinking...

As every decent sprinter knows, it's the hesitation that kills you. Give up that perfectly timed jump -for whatever heat-of-the-moment-in-combat reason - and you're done.

And so here I sit in early December worrying. Though the wrists are far down the path of healed I am nowhere near able to properly train on the bike. It kind of hurts and makes my wrists stiff and sore just easy plodding along and the Doctor forbade me to pull on the handlebars so that rules out real climbing and sprint training (not that it feels like I could be doing that anyway).

On top of that I've gotten used to the rhythms of life without wedging in training rides for almost four months now and just finding the mindset to make-time-to-ride is kind of off the RADAR right now.

But I know you're out there training. I know you're getting a jump on me. I know you're going to be making me pay next season. I know that I'll be looking at your asses from 20 meters back and know there's nothing I can do, beg, borrow, steal or extort to close that gap. I know you're riding 150 mile weeks despite its being only December.

I liked it better in the old days when it was me making guys think like that.

So that's how the competitive asshole bikeracer in me feels. The rest of me just wants to enjoy a nice mountain bike ride or a nice day full of long climbs and extended views. Hell, I'd even be glad to spend a day with the chainsaw and splitter making firewood.

But I must be patient. I found a Tolstoy quote, "The two most powerful warriors are patience and time." And every successful sprinter knows the ability to sit and wait. Let the early movers wear themselves out. Let them work early and fade too soon. It's still early. Next season will be long enough. I'll be ready when my sprint comes.

I'm #1!

As you can see from my screen shot from the official USACycling website, I am ranked #1 in my zip code in Criterium, Time Trial and Road Racing! So if there was a 94550 Cat. 5 stage race I would be the Lance Armstrong of 94550 Category 5 racers. Wow! Where's my trophy? (tongue is firmly planted in cheek in case you need to be told...).

I believe that what that ranking means is that either A)I am the ONLY cat 5 in my zip code (that actually bothered to show up to a few races in 2009) or that B)USACycling always puts you as #1 in your zip code to make you feel good about yourself and renew your license...

Doctor wagged his finger at me last week and said to not destroy his good work and to lay off for another three weeks and then do three weeks after that of physical therapy so it looks like I may be able to ride again around Christmas time.

So I find myself living vicariously through pictures, video and race reports of what uninjured bike racers are doing these days and I realized the following: Successful cyclocross racers seem to be pretty far on the skinny side - almost like runners. D'Oh! No wonder I've always been frustrated by sucking at something that I find so much dang fun. Come to think of it the skinny guys pretty much kick butt in most competitive cycling situations... Oh well, just like the world of Tuesday nite rock and roll bands needs "rhythm" guitar players, the nation's weekend bike warriors need us "all-rounders." And just like "Smells Like Teen Spirit" needs no hot licks to rock your way through, the occasional wind lets a pear shaped dough-boy like me serve a little payback to the chickenlegged dudes.

So anyway here's my over-thought application for a Cat 4 upgrade which I'm including here because I can't think why but it sort of slightly amuses me which is pretty much the reason I ever put anything here...

2009 Road Race Resume for Roy Johnson (submitted for Road Cat 4 upgrade)

In 2009 I reactivated my USACycling racing license and downgraded from a Cat 3 on the road to a Cat 5. A late season injury kept me from participating in a tenth qualifying race but I am hoping my former Cat 3 license and added experience on the track will be taken into consideration. To upgrade to a Cat 4 for 2010, I submit the following:

2009 Criterium Experience
-Early Bird Road Race in Patterson (35+ 4/5) 40th
-Madera Stage Race (Cat 5) 30th/45
-Lodi Cycle Fest (Cat 5) 5th of 18
-Lodi Cycle Fest (35+ 4/5) DNF

2009 Road Race Experience
-Madera Stage Race (Cat 5) 20th/45
-Sonora Road Race (Cat 5) 9th/20
-Tour De Ames "Kermesse" (Unsanctioned Race) 2nd
-Leesville Gap RR (35+ Cat 5) 7th/16
-San Ardo Road Race (35+ Cat 5) 10th/23

2009 ITT Experience
-Madera Stage Race (Cat 5) 26th/45 - Overall 20th of 45
-Mount Diablo Hill Climb TT (Cat 5) 19th/30

2009 Other
-Track Experience including 6 beginner sessions, and races on 9 separate dates.
-2 Mountain Bike Races (T.B.F. MTB Challenge #1 and #2)
-2 Cyclocross races in late 2008 that inspired all of the above for 2009!

The Frustrations of Bike Racing on a Budget...

I've been spending too much time on eBay this week trying to buy other people's castoff junk for (probably) too much money. Even with twenty year's worth of bike parts lingering in my parts bin I still don't have enough stuff to get my track bike road-training worthy. And I need to fix my road racing bike since my crash left me with bent forks. Besides that, I fell into a pedal crisis last year when two sets of pedals finally crapped out on me in the span of a few days.

Bicycle and bicycle equipment have become outrageously expensive. When I started racing in the early 90's I rode a modest Shimano 105 equipped carbon fiber frame that I bought for $750 on a starving college student budget of warehouse summer jobs and restaurant work during the school year. Nowadays a similar bike will go for about $1700. Go ahead and adjust for inflation and that's ridiculous! And that's an entry level race bike. Step up to a race worthy component group and wheels and it is very easy to spend $3500 to $6000 on a race bike. Race-worthy forks go for $300 to $800 dollars! Need shoes? Prepare to drop another $300.

I guess that's all fine and good for the folks who can either afford it or put themselves (and their families) into guilt-free debt but for me it's a problem. I'm already racing on ten year old equipment. In some ways it's okay since the rider is 90 percent of the equation but the rest of it is very frustrating when you toe the line on inferior equipment.

Back in my glory days of racing in the DC area, we often rode and raced with the couriers from downtown. Whenever I feel bad that the guys in the pack are all riding wheels worth more than my entire bike I remember those guys riding me into the ground on bikes that were barely fit to be ridden.

But still, I feel like I'm missing out by going on the cheap...

Bike Frames: This is the only place I feel I'm actually in a little club of guys-who-know-better. My old steel frame may not weigh less than a paperback novel but it's comfortable and will last forever. Even with the modern carbon fiber wunderframes available today, I'd still ride a steel frame.

Wheels: Wheels have become stupidly expensive but they are also the one place where you can actually lose and lose big time if you're heavy and inefficient. Not dumping big money into wheels is probably my biggest frustration.

Components: It's all great stuff available nowadays. Buy my ten year old Dura-Ace still works pretty good too. The only difference is weight. That said, I'd really like to upgrade my cranks and bottom bracket to something much more lightweight and modern.

Pedals and Shoes: This one is killing me! I don't know how much longer I can keep limping along. The problem is that I'm sort of married to old Look pedals. Back in the day you could buy new pedals every two seasons or so and eventually you had enough pedals for all your bikes and didn't have to worry about different cleats and could use just one pair of shoes. But Look switched from the old delta platform to their new keo (kea - whatever) and I'm stuck. I'll either have to buy three pairs of pedals all at once (ouch! on the wallet) or go crazy switching pedals from bike to bike to bike to bike.

Or just buy other people's castoffs on eBay for (probably) too much money...

Tears on my toptube...

I was able to sit normally on my bike for 30 minutes on the trainer yesterday. Hallelujah! I sinched up my splints as tight as I could, rested with the aluminum plate resting on the bar tops and cried through my bike as SRV cried through his guitar over the stereophonic music machine. Beautimous! There is light at the end of this tunnel and next season begins yesterday. Now I can hopefully keep my head in the game and put up with a month of trainer riding...

Jasper got his second yellow belt in taekwondo. I'm so proud of him! This is alot of work for a not-quite-six-year-old. He has to memorize forms, safety tips, life lessons and definitions as well as just exhibit some level of profficiency at different kinds of kicks, jabs and punches. Sometimes he balks at some of the work but he's decided he wants to stick with it. When I was his age my biggest skill was picking my nose...







They don't do halloween costumes at Jasper's school. Instead they dress up in traditional clothes. It's pretty cool seeing alot of the other families bringing their kids in their traditional costumes. But we're boring americans with no families coming over in at least four generations so we go with the American pioneer thing. Jasper, however, decided he was an Australian mountain man. Okay!

I've been working alot harder lately on trying to be more patient and pay attention to what Kris has been telling me for at least a year now. The idea is to parent with positiveness. It goes beyond encouragement, showing pride and taking time to spend a kind word as reward. The idea is to give positive reinforcement for doing the right things. For the longest time I thought this was just ridiculous. "Should I follow him around saying, 'Thanks for not kicking the dogs, Jasper. Thanks for not putting holes in the walls. And thanks for not throwing rocks through the windows.'" It doesn't work that way and I don't seem to possess the verbal skills this morning to explain it but basically I now work harder on noticing when he's doing things right and being good and saying something about it rather than just expecting that to happen and then only yelling when he does something wrong. Lo and behold, it seems to kind of work. If anything, the positive attention puts him in a better mood and encourages to do the things that got that positive attention. Sometimes when you're the only kid around you probably need attention so it's good when he does good things to get attention instead of breaking a window or something.

Anyway, speaking of the lad, he's setting up a game right now so this will remain unedited, hurried, and probably make no sense! Priorities!

33 Days Later...

I've been running four or five miles three or four times a week for the last three weeks and that's about all my knees can take. And that's all dirt road and trail miles. Sidewalks and roads are just not do-able. I still not supposed to put the amount of weight that leaning on my handlebars would require on the trainer so I've only been on it a couple of times sitting bolt upright and very unsatisfied. Around the house I watch Kris doing EVERYTHING and I feel like crap. She's been super about this but I still feel badly.

On the bright side the forced computer time at work has really made my software come together with alot more focus and dedication than it normally would. Sometimes I forget that my job is really pretty cool. Tap some code here, figure out a problem there, then (literally) set things in motion and grin.

Nothin' earth moving today. Just a moment in front of the computer...

Rule with an iron example

I love being a Dad. It doesn't mean I'm necessarily good at it but I try. I examine, I analyze and I try to fix things that I think aren't working in my role.

The other day I was walking my son into school after having had what we call in our house, "a hard morning." I often fall into the trap of fighting too hard for the individual battles when it is the complete war that I need to focus on. Sometimes we parents need to let go a little bit and back off and concentrate on the whole picture. I don't remember the particulars of this particular morning but I know that I was probably grumpier, louder and more stubborn than I would like to admit. When this happens, my and my son's personalities are like oil and water. It gets loud. It gets emotional. It gets embarassing to me when I finally get over myself and calm down.

So we had one of those mornings. By the time we got to school I was still maybe a little grumpier and a little torqued with my son for making it such a hard morning (conveniently overlooking my own part in the situational mood). We walked into school and as we went down the hallway to the classroom door I looked down at the center of my universe holding onto my hand. He had flipped his sunglasses up onto the top of his head like a raised visor and his hair was pushed up and splayed straight up in random directions by the glasses. Without thinking about it I reached up onto the top of my own head where I had done the same thing with my own glasses.

I kissed him goodbye for the day and proceded on to the adult part of my day. But it suddenly occured to me that even when I'm being a bit of an obstinant asshole of a father, my son is still watching. He's still sponging up how to act. He's learning to sometimes raise his voice and to argue a petty detail instead of rising above and staying calm. And this reminder brings me to a calmer place as a parent. Because he's learning alot more from me than just where to put his sunglasses when he goes indoors.