At some point in the swirl of life and bike racing in the new environment of higher responsibilities I started to take it for granted and accept that racing and enjoying a fit body was back in my life to stay.
But that was it. I mixed in some track racing but just found I was barely floating in the Cat. 4's and never really found my pop there. And the rest of the mountain bike racing season was just a string of good starts followed by my back completely abandoning me and then fading hard and getting passed out of the podium spots in race after race. Then I put in alot of hours, built up a base, started building some speed and jumped into cyclocross only to have one of the most miserable races I've ever had without my bike failing me.
I'd like to blame a pretty substantial increase in my life responsibilities and distractions starting about a year ago. I'd like to blame a year in which I traveled for work a total of something like 80 days. I'd like to accept all that and say I can regroup, come out the gates next year and turn things around. But that ain't it.
|...or looking back.|
But don't worry about me! I haven't lost the ability to realize how good I have it. I do, however, need to work a little harder to align my priorities and not get too wrapped up in my own little complications. The fact is I still have excellent health and, through this rather bleak racing season and worry over my exponentially increasing discomfort and inability to train properly I CAN, as a matter of fact, still get on a bike and enjoy a nice day and good friends. And that can't be traded away for anything so I'm very thankful.
We all age. Our bodies are going to fall apart. Damn that's hard to accept. I was talking to Kris this morning and I just had to admit that this is it. This right here right now is as old as I'm willing to get. Too bad, eh? I've always enjoyed a healthy body whether it's on the bike or out on the property or under a car. So now I just have to start learning to slow down? I'm only 44!!! I'm not done fighting. I'll figure it out. I'll slow down. I'll learn how to maintain, repair and keep enjoying this stupid body that's wearing out. I simply don't see any other alternative.
|Despite the view, I'm not ready to pack up and leave yet.|