The dammit factor

I've gone from seeing great improvements and getting very motivated for cycling to not riding for a week and having depression creep in around the edges. Dammit.

Over Christmas week I was having all kinds of vision problems and headaches and then it cleared up. I had some really great rides and was feeling like I was on track. Then last Monday I started feeling crappy again and this has been a horrible week of blurred/missing vision, dizziness and crippling headaches. Dammit.

I went to the doctor and all he did was give me a referral to see a neurologist since he thinks these have been migraines and that I should have taken care of this sooner. Neurologist is totally backed up out to four weeks and I have to wait it out. Dammit.

The cruel beast of cycling as a competitive sport means you MUST MUST MUST put that thing between your legs and ride. Really you shouldn't be riding but training -to use better semantics- but sometimes just riding lets you keep up what you've worked so hard to build up. Greg Lemond said that a week off the bike was equivalent to three weeks of training lost. I've been unable to ride for a week now. Dammit.

Depression runs strong in people with sinus/allergy problems and I'm no exclusion to that correlation, unfortunately. And it's just a bitter addition to the already hard to maintain upbeatedness when something you love to do and, in a way, become dependent on, is taken away. All I want to do is swing my leg over a bike today and work out my frustration and pent up energy but here's this damn headache and slight dizziness again. DAMMIT.